


i've done my time

by starfleetbanana



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Injured!Andrew, Insecure!Neil, M/M, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-26
Updated: 2016-11-26
Packaged: 2018-09-02 10:17:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8663635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starfleetbanana/pseuds/starfleetbanana
Summary: The one where Andrew's the one on pain meds but Neil's the one who can't think properly.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This tag's been so silent lately I'm highkey panicking and though I don't even have time to breathe rn I decided to write a short and bad fic about something I've been wanting to write for a while. It sucks, but I had fun panicking thinking the Andreil tag wouldn't update ever again :). 
> 
> Would Neil ever react like this unless he's having the shittiest day even after losing 10 games? Probably not. Did I want him to panic about losing Andrew because he feels worthless sometimes? Absolutely. Enjoy.

Neil had never been particularly insecure about Andrew’s feelings for him, whatever they were. As long as he could play Exy, share a house with him and take care of his cats he thought he’d be okay. Maybe he had to include the Foxes in his future plans too because he cared too much about them to pretend their wellbeing didn’t have an impact on his. Even Aaron’s, because his safety still meant too much to Andrew even though they stayed away from each other most of the time. They texted sometimes, though.

But things were slightly different now. He hadn’t become weaker so to speak, but Neil had never gotten used to being attached to people or belonging to a place, which only made him want to keep things under control all the time. Of course he couldn’t keep Andrew under control, but that was fine because he knew how to predict him and he wasn’t scared of waking up in the middle of the night anymore, whatever that meant for his mental health. In other words, Neil should’ve been fine, but he wasn’t.

He wasn’t fine, and he couldn’t say it out loud so it didn’t really mean anything. He wasn’t fine because Andrew’s injury was getting to him way more than it was bothering Andrew and he didn’t get why.

“Do you want me to get something when I come home from practice?” Neil asked biting his lower lip. He hated leaving Andrew alone at home, knowing he couldn’t assure his safety. It wasn’t because Andrew wouldn’t be able to defend himself with a broken hand. It was all about Neil’s anxiety.

“My hand is broken. I can walk, you know?” Andrew answered in a low voice, burying himself in the blankets. Even though Neil hated to recognise he noticed it, it was still easier for Andrew to get comfortable in his sleep when he was alone.

Neil snorted in response and closed the door to the bedroom behind him.

He hadn’t been completely focused since Andrew’d broken his hand in the middle of a game. He felt a bit off because he hated knowing Andrew felt vulnerable on pain meds and he tried to stay away from him unless Andrew initiated any romantic interaction.

He knew he wasn’t doing a great job as a captain of his team, but he couldn’t stop thinking about how Exy was supposed to be the only thing that kept Andrew focused, that helped the both of them get their shit together because when they were on the court it was so much easier to understand Exy was _it._ Or maybe his life with Andrew was _it._

He hated thinking of leaving Andrew alone with his thoughts, wincing in pain every time he forgot about his hand and it was stupid, because Andrew’d been through hell and back and he’d made it back alive and that was what mattered, but knowing he was hurting again made him want to kill the striker that’d been the one to score when Andrew broke his hand.

Of course Andrew wasn’t defenceless and Neil didn’t think of him as a scared child, but his mind was so full of what ifs it hurt. _Exy was the only thing keeping them together, if Andrew couldn’t practice then maybe he’d realise, if he realised he’d leave, knowing Neil wasn’t enough to keep him busy, to keep him interested._ Neil wasn’t insecure, it was just that even though he had a name now, he still felt like the runaway nobody ever noticed.

 He had to make himself remember the way Andrew’d deemed him interesting enough to protect him, to take care of him, and to _let him_ be responsible for Kevin’s and his own safety. He trusted him more than anything, and that was worth more than the three words that’d never come out of Andrew’s lips.

The keys, the trust, the kisses, it all meant so much he was utterly afraid he’d have to let go of it all one day. He’d never had anything that stable in his life, not even the presence of his mother, and so he was afraid Andrew’s injury would make him realise how wrong he’d been believing he’d be lucky enough to be allowed to _stay._

He went home as soon as he could, managing to get weird looks from all of his teammates. They weren’t even close to being what the foxes had been once for him, but at least he could talk to them and apparently they liked him enough to decide he was good enough to be their captain. They respected his privacy though, so they never asked about the obnoxiously expensive car that sometimes picked him up, or the switched jerseys, or the cat hairs.

“You’re early” Andrew murmured when Neil was saying hi to the cats. They were needy and noisy as fuck, but Andrew still liked them.

“You noticed?” Neil asked with a smirk. It was the kind of reassurances he always got from Andrew that were the tiniest things to the rest of the world. Fuck, Neil wasn’t insecure, it was so out of character that sometimes he couldn’t even believe Neil Josten was _him,_ that he wasn’t hiding or pretending to be someone else.

Andrew nodded in response. Of course he did, nothing that happened to Neil was invisible to Andrew, whether it was to threaten him on his first year at PSU or to support him in his own way for the rest of his life. Neil had never thought he’d have a life, and now he had the chance to imagine spending it next to Andrew. It was downright intoxicating.

“Did you take your meds?” Neil said knowing it was useless to ask because Andrew’d ignore that question. He was supposed to be going to physical therapy three times a week and though he’d probably had a conversation with the team’s doctor about his past ‘court-ordered’ addiction, Neil couldn’t help worrying about the fact Andrew’d rather be in pain than have to take pain meds.

A quick movement, and then Andrew asks the question that belongs to them. Neil melts at the warmth of the fingers around his wrist and it burns, it hurts, it feels as if he’s choking, because Andrew looks at him and waits, he just waits and he could wait forever if it meant Neil’s _yes_ is full of honesty.

He knows, he just knows the way Neil’s thoughts mix up with old fears and things he’s seen in nightmares, things he’s lived through once, twice, too many times to tell himself the world is a nice place. But it can feel like it’s less full of monsters when the person people dared call _monster_ is there to keep him grounded. It’s fucking bliss and Neil really fucking hates that word because it’s so surreal.

“You’re on pain meds” Neil says pursing his lips. His heart is beating so fast he’s sure Andrew can feel it, his fingers still wrapped tightly around the tender skin of his wrist.

“’M not taking them” He says and though he’s more than ready to disappear from Neil’s line of sight as soon as Neil says no, he wants him to stay pressing his body against the kitchen wall so bad.

“’Kay, yes, _yes”_ Neil says almost desperately. He wants Andrew’s lips on him, and he closes his eyes trying to breathe, his eyes burn and all he feels is his own heartbeat.

“Yeah?” Andrew asks, his voice barely coming out, but Neil can hear it and he holds onto the sound of it, the way he almost sighs every time he speaks because he never says more than what he thinks is enough.

Andrew lets go of his wrist and Neil nods waiting for more contact, anything that’ll make him feel like Andrew’s real, like he deserves the quiet domestic life he’s got now, like he doesn’t need to keep running away.

Andrew’s hand cradling his face feels like it’s holding him together and when, instead of giving him a bruising kiss that’ll make him come back to reality, he presses a chaste kiss to Neil’s cheek ruined with scars it feels like coming undone. Andrew shouldn’t be the one picking up the broken pieces, he thinks, but Andrew’s there willingly, and then he can taste him, feel him with the warmth of his tongue and the need building up within him. It’s fucking bliss, and Andrew hates it too.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos & comments & bookmarks literally feed me, thanks.


End file.
